The Filthy Desire (An old Story, I had laying around)

The Filthy Desire  

Despite all the pain she went through, she deeply knew that she will never give up or quit. She was right on the edge; she was losing everything and everyone around her just to satisfy her inner desire. She had nothing to live for but her damned repulsive desire, it led her, guided her and it was always her dear companion. With her desire she was always looked at as an outcast, stranger an outside of the word person that was always bound by social norms and sometime by religion. But she never cared, she never thought about how others would see her, although their looks killed her.

“What kind of girl does that” “are you happy with yourself” “only who**s do that”  “And what kind of religion are you following that gives you that right” These were all the translations of the looks she used to get, living in an Arab country that abide with religions and traditional norms didn’t give her the freedom she expected so it wasn’t that easy.  People were sometimes fierce and mean but so is her desire, it wasn’t the people that bother her most. Deeply she knew that she didn’t have the freedom she wished for and not because of the people and their looks, it’s because something more powerful have captured her and controlled her for the rest of her life.  She knew she had nothing left but her desire, it was the only thing that was keeping her alive, yet it was still the same thing that will end her life.

One day she sat in the dark, lonely, lost & miserable with nothing but the light of her desire slowly destroying the last piece of her.  She was suffocating and the light was getting brighter; she tried to stop herself but her desire kept on fighting back and didn’t let her go. Her tears filled the place and her eyes were bloody, her nose was runny and her heart was racing so fast. She couldn’t stand the heat, yet she couldn’t stop her soul from surrendering to her desire. She was a strong girl but the pleasure she experienced was way stronger than her, it just gave her exactly what she was looking for a dream that came true, but what if this dream became all her reality. She never wanted anything else because she never saw anything else. There were no alternatives in her life that is the only reality she knew, so she never looked for an alternative. 

She took a deep breath and she took control over herself and she gazed deeply at the light and said:

“You were always there for me a dear friend and a beloved companion, you have never let me down or even decided to let me go, you have always understood my needs, simply you were part of me. I loved every detail about you, your smell, your taste, the way you touch my lips; the way you lie helplessly in my hands and they way you make me feel after touching my soul. But NO! As sensational as you are as filthy you will always remain. I know you will be hurt but there is a time when we both have to take our separate ways, I know you will survive without me, but simply you will destroy me if we stayed together, I am not being ungrateful here, but you were purely vicious and cruel. I have to look for other options and experience new things that will surely not give me the same amount of pleasure you did, but eventfully will keep me alive. Thank you for our time together but now it’s time to let go. Now is my time to not let my desire take control of my life, now it’s the time to get back my freedom and gain back my dignity, now it’s my time to finally……..

Quit Smoking. “

A Day In A Life of A Harasser!

Waking up and getting dressed as always, with nothing on his mind but completing what he has started yesterday and the day before. Amgad is a 30 year’s old unmarried man that lives with his mother and his 8 sisters. Amgad is unemployed and his mother is the only source of money in the house, she raised him till he graduated from university, and is planning to do the same with his sisters. Amgad is graduated from Law school, he graduated with high grades but unfortunately he couldn’t get a decent job.

On his ways out of the house he spotted his 18 years old sister looking feminine as always, he glimpsed and took a deep breath and closed his eyes and the journey of his imagination started, yet he knew he can never touch her although he tried before. Amgad went down the house and started walking into small and dark allies looking for another prey. He spotted two girls walking deeper into the alley and decided to have two targets today rather than one, “I will challenge myself today” he said.

Moving slowly and cunningly towards the end of the alley trying to reach the two girls, and indulge his raging sexual desire. Reaching the end of the alley waiting for the girls to move into a crowded place so he can make his move with no one noticing, he closed his eyes started imaging his sister again. His sexual desire was lifted even more, and he decided to make his move in a dark quiet place with no people around. Sweat was all over his face and his heart was racing like a horse striving to win and he was as scared as a rat. He got closer and closer and in a second he grabbed both girls from their backs and knocked them down the floor and ran away.

He couldn’t catch his breath so he stopped running, looking around to see if someone saw him, he decided to hide, near a dark doorstep. Amgad was hoping that no one saw him, with a look of fear and a tiny smile of victory Amgad calmed himself down, and started to walk towards the crowded streets again, thinking of the challenge he might take the next day and thinking of new day to satisfy his sexual desire.

The Cone Chat

A day full of work overload and maximum stress all she wanted to do is break free and be liberated . She walked out of her office and took the stairs, her colleagues never knew why she never took the elevator some of them thought she was claustrophobic, and others feels that she is afraid of heights. She just didn't give them the pleasure of knowing the real reason, and she always gave them a sarcastic laugh whenever they ask her.

On every floor she goes by she dumps a block of her stress behind her, on every step taken she gets a memory of her happy moments and today will be one of the best days of her life. It’s Thursday the day she waits for every month, its her break. A break for her doesn’t mean a break from work, because she is a total workaholic she never stops even on weekends. She gets down to the street and walks directly to her car all she can see is the cone. She started to drive and she didn’t see the people around her, all she can focus on is the cone it was calling for her.

She stopped her car and got out she took a deep breath and started walking until she faded and went out of sight. She came back to her car with the cone finally in her hand. She opened the door and started the engine and drove to a near quite place under a beautiful oak tree. She closed the windows and played her favorite song, and rested the chair. She gazed deeply at the cone she took a deep breath and she said: "Hey my perfect little cone, you are so dear to me, you are my passion and my inspiration and sometimes you help me to go on. To me you are pure joy covered with ultimate infatuation, filled with utmost enthusiasm and sprinkled with extreme passion. But sorry you won’t stay for long I won’t let you stay for long and I want allow you from keeping me away from reaching me goal even if it means that you will only be with me once a month, I can do that I can stay away from you longing for the day I will meet you again. As fundamental as you are to me, you still can’t be the essence of my life because I have a life and I plan on keeping it sparkly, astonishing and fit"

She got closer to the cone and smelled it and enjoyed its look, and its taste she ate it till the last bit and after she was finished she held her head back and said "your creaminess and softness is the essence of your exquisiteness" It was really an experience of a life time and as great as it is, it must have an end, and the cone of the cone was now the end of the ice cream cone is now! It won’t keep her away from staying fit and getting in shape and having a “to die for” lifestyle full of activity, healthy body, fitness and absolute inspiration. She held the driving wheel and laughed and said "that’s fools what's keeping me away from the elevator”