The Filthy Desire
Despite all the pain she went through, she deeply knew that she will never give up or quit. She was right on the edge; she was losing everything and everyone around her just to satisfy her inner desire. She had nothing to live for but her damned repulsive desire, it led her, guided her and it was always her dear companion. With her desire she was always looked at as an outcast, stranger an outside of the word person that was always bound by social norms and sometime by religion. But she never cared, she never thought about how others would see her, although their looks killed her.
“What kind of girl does that” “are you happy with yourself” “only who**s do that” “And what kind of religion are you following that gives you that right” These were all the translations of the looks she used to get, living in an Arab country that abide with religions and traditional norms didn’t give her the freedom she expected so it wasn’t that easy. People were sometimes fierce and mean but so is her desire, it wasn’t the people that bother her most. Deeply she knew that she didn’t have the freedom she wished for and not because of the people and their looks, it’s because something more powerful have captured her and controlled her for the rest of her life. She knew she had nothing left but her desire, it was the only thing that was keeping her alive, yet it was still the same thing that will end her life.
One day she sat in the dark, lonely, lost & miserable with nothing but the light of her desire slowly destroying the last piece of her. She was suffocating and the light was getting brighter; she tried to stop herself but her desire kept on fighting back and didn’t let her go. Her tears filled the place and her eyes were bloody, her nose was runny and her heart was racing so fast. She couldn’t stand the heat, yet she couldn’t stop her soul from surrendering to her desire. She was a strong girl but the pleasure she experienced was way stronger than her, it just gave her exactly what she was looking for a dream that came true, but what if this dream became all her reality. She never wanted anything else because she never saw anything else. There were no alternatives in her life that is the only reality she knew, so she never looked for an alternative.
She took a deep breath and she took control over herself and she gazed deeply at the light and said:
“You were always there for me a dear friend and a beloved companion, you have never let me down or even decided to let me go, you have always understood my needs, simply you were part of me. I loved every detail about you, your smell, your taste, the way you touch my lips; the way you lie helplessly in my hands and they way you make me feel after touching my soul. But NO! As sensational as you are as filthy you will always remain. I know you will be hurt but there is a time when we both have to take our separate ways, I know you will survive without me, but simply you will destroy me if we stayed together, I am not being ungrateful here, but you were purely vicious and cruel. I have to look for other options and experience new things that will surely not give me the same amount of pleasure you did, but eventfully will keep me alive. Thank you for our time together but now it’s time to let go. Now is my time to not let my desire take control of my life, now it’s the time to get back my freedom and gain back my dignity, now it’s my time to finally……..
Quit Smoking. “
